2/16/2026

Addressing the name of the page, I highly doubt any birds are atheist as God spoke to them directly and said "Be fruitful and multiply". I started down my long haul to atheism with a brief period of it in High School, then after a very lax period of belief in God during my undergraduate years, fully accepted it in grad school. It's not something I enjoyed by the end of my tenure as an atheist and I wanted nothing more than to be fully immersed in the love of my creator.  

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When I got into it, the writings of Bertrand Russel were quickly viewed by myself as an accurate depiction of how life should be approached particularly the book "Why I am not a Christian" which I read very little of and accepted as truth outright. I have often thought I should review it as a practicing Roman Catholic.  Bertrand Russel for lack of another title is the "prophet" of atheists. Most of it is an assault on the doctrine of the Roman Catholic church which he viewed as the true church, as protestants fractured away from it and in his view once the schism occurred it would just lead to a perpetual state of constant schisms until there was nothing left. Personally, I view all Christian churches' as Catholic as the word means Universal.  There are just those in communion with the pope in Rome and those that are not.

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I spent three years as a full-fledged atheist and by the end of it was completely destroyed as a human being.  I had a terrible addiction and pending criminal charges.  When I had had enough, I marched myself into the Catholic church on campus and decided I needed to be there every day for a while, after an argument with the woman in charge of my house arrest I cut off the ankle bracelet with a pair of bolt cutters and went out drinking, then went to mass, then went to jail (for a month). After release I was at mass 6 days a week for a year and ten months.  I changed tremendously. Every moment I could see the beauty of my creator. A life without meaning turned into one full of it.  The biggest benefit I could see in my wavering youth was the attention I got from women after becoming a Christian again.  

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Several moments of clarity lead up to my conversion to Roman Catholicism. While teaching a statistics course I realized that almost no one believes in atheism, less than 0.5% of the world's population (according to wikipedia at the time, although now it lists 7-13% of people).  I thought to myself as an economist working on his Ph.D., most people get most things right most of the time and calculating the odds realized that I would never place a bet in a market with those odds. I also had the fruition of having a large flash of white light enter into me while driving and I believed again. My faith had been restored. It's hard to describe that experience as I remember seeing myself from a third person point of view when a cone of white seized my spirit.

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I did awful things as an atheist, I was completely an immoral wreck focused on explaining everything though the knowledge and eyes of men.  I had the wherewithal to have several visions and a visit from an angel. I was sitting out on my back doorstoop high and it flew down and landed beside my tool cart, holding a veil, it said "A measure of faith, Zeke". I had nothing in existence. Atheists often have the feeling of comfort in the belief of nothing. I thought that after death it just went blank and that was that, it was like before you were born. Which is nonsense.

 

My biggest mistake during that period was having God show up to heal my fracturing ear from something the microchip was doing and I was obsessed with getting to work the next day. Telling my creator that I couldn't die, as my presence was expected in a class I taught. If it happened now I would beg him to take me with him. God also showed me what Heaven felt like it and when he brought the feeling to my soul I tried to take it like a drug and he said "Aught Aught Aught" and pulled it back showing me it had to be given, not something that could be taken. It was a holy and pure feeling, the best feeling I had ever felt with no sense of guilt that the effect of a drug has and the next day when I awoke my sheets felt like silk and there was this smell that was amazing.

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When I look back into my foray into atheism it seems like it went on much longer than it did.  I have had ups and downs since that period but never so awful as to abandon my belief in the Almighty.  My view when I embraced atheism was I never had to feel guilty about anything ever again. I feel tremendously guilty over my actions during that period including an act of sacrilege I committed in St. Mary's basilica in Rome that was the single worst thing I have ever done in my life.  Atheists have no idea what they are doing, they don't. A belief in nothing is an awful belief to have, that one's sin has gotten so bad they extinguish their belief in the creator.  My God is my armor now and I love him with all my mind, heart, body and soul.  Blessings, Peace and Grace to you all.